Hey guys, my name is Jean Kalyx (triaD!). I’m a writer of fantastically exciting things, a commentator of social silliness, an ambitiously aspiring game designer, a rigorous competitive gamer, an opposer of ideological sophistry, a lover of pizza, and a- OH MY GOD I’M BLACK!
Watch superhero movies drunk. Become worthy.
Everything Wrong With
In However Long It Takes You To Read This
So Ashley Valazquez of Not Your Mama’s Gamer, a feminist gaming blog, wrote an odd poem of sorts lamenting the fact that Lara Croft – a Tomb Raider – is fit enough to have a thigh gap. While she’s obviously having a bit more fun with it than the usual diatribes about this sort of thing, I still found it telling enough to wanna respond to it by way of translation. I’m going to break down each passage for you so we may gaze into the mind of somebody who plays games and ends up reflecting on their body. In poetry.
I also wanna preface this by stating I do not like the new Lara Croft. She’s ironically designed to cater to people like Ashley while abandoning the gameplay oriented elements of the actually good Tomb Raider Legend reboot. So keep this in mind.
The real Lara Croft, far as I’m concerned. (Legend, 2006)